i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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