Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize