omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
