And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
