he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
