Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
