New invention idea: vibrating tampons
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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