he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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