you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
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I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
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Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
is that a dick in a sweater?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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