Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
