you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
