Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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