3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
