I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize