okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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