i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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