is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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