I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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