..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
