Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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