her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
FUCK WHALES
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
