I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
