My hair reeks of homosexuality.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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