i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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