So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
honey bunches of taint.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
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So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
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i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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