i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
