I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
