Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
