I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
