I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So. Much. Porn.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
