By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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