I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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