She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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