Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
