you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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