I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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