I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
