I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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