we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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