And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
