If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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