why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
