what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
