Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
