Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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