to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
