I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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