Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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