How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND