From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.