Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.