His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.