you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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