just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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