Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
