I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
