so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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