We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
