Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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