tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
