it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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