Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
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Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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