Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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