windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
3 2 1 whiskey
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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