Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
